I won’t go into the details of when I first heard this question but I can tell you, although it has the appearance of wisdom, it shows a lack of Biblical understanding.
Q. Christ doesn’t forgive me until I ask for it, so shouldn’t I wait to forgive someone until they ask for it?
No. First, you aren’t the Father. You don’t have His capacity for grace. Second, understand that you forgive for your sake, not theirs. Third, take a look at what Christ said in Matthew 18:
Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So the servant fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ And the lord of that servant felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servant who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. ‘Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow servant, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
Matthew 18:21-35 (NASB)
Christ said in this parable that if we don’t forgive another from our hearts, torturers will be assigned to us. If you don’t forgive someone until they ask for forgiveness, you’re actually letting them keep you imprisoned.
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison to hurt someone else.
Don’t be mistaken, in this parable the second servant owed the first one 100 days worth of salary – that’s about pay for a 3rd of a year . It was not an insignificant amount.
You may have some horrible wrongs done to you. You still must choose to forgive. Put the offender in the Father’s hand. He will make all things right. Trust Him. He’s good.