I’ve been working to set up the store on RevTrev.com. Still a few things to do. I hope to have it up on the weekend… but really don’t know if I have the time to. Anyway, it’s always timely to talk about how we honor in conflict.
Honoring someone does not mean there will never be a time you don’t disagree with them. It doesn’t mean there won’t be arguments. Honoring doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. The closer another person is to you, the greater the opportunity for disagreements.
So you need to know how to to fight and still honor. Here are some simple guidelines… simple for me to write, possibly not so simple for you to remember in the heat of conflict. Learn them now and apply them later. And don’t expect the other person to know or appreciate the rules your fighting with, especially if you spring it on them.
H one in on the topic at hand. Speak to the situation “This is what you did/said; this is why I disagree/it upset me.”
O nly speak words of life. Cut out the sarcasm, condemnation and shame.
N ame calling and labels are never to be returned. Resorting to name calling and labels is the same as placing curses on people. Don’t do it to them, even if they started it.
O perate in the present. Avoid saying, “You always” and “You never”. Both are untrue and are used to simply cause pain. If you’re phyiscally present with the person, look at them in the eye and don’t turn your back to them.
R esolve the argument. It’s OK to disagree. Allow them the right to hold their own opinion. Don’t go to bed angry because it gives the enemy a foothold. (Ephesians 4:25-27). Following an argument, don’t bring it up with others to rally support or curry pity; continue to honor the other.
Have you tried to honor in conflict? It isn’t easy, but its necessary. Love to hear about it or if you have a question or comment, please post it.