In my devotional time today I wrote about the how I’ve changed from having a “need for respect” to having a “need to honor God by honoring others”.

When I was governed by the “need for respect”, I knew I had to “look” respectable. I let others opinion of me sway my actions, and I intentionally avoided situations that may have put me in a bad light.

Having a need to “honor others” means I no longer have to “look” respectable – I have to be honorable. I no longer let others opinion of me sway my actions, but I allow God’s opinion of others move me. I don’t worry about being seen in a “bad light” instead I’m focused of being in the Light.

I know this is going to develop into a series. For now, listen to what the Bible says about showing honor. Love to have your comments.

Discernment is a gift desperately needed at this moment in Church history. Jesus warned us:

For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect—if that were possible. Matthew 24:24 (New International Version)

We’re living in the time He was prophesying about. It’s one sign of the end of the age.

In the past we’ve focused on criticizing other servants of our Master. But who are we to do that (Romans 14:4)?

Leaders were warned about wolves arising from their midst (Acts 20:29). And those same leaders were later chastised by the Son for not acting in love as they confronted heresy (Revelation 2:1-5).

We must know how to discern in love.

It’s time to stop being a jerk when we judge. It’s time to stop responding like a jerk when we’re judged.

Honor is the answer to both excuses to act like a jerk.

As you honor the Father by obeying Him, He will honor you. As you honor your parents, you will enjoy long life in the land. As you honor those who betray you, you honor our Lord by walking in His steps. As you call out the glory in those around you, you allow them to become what the Father has deposited in them. You are a carrier of the Kingdom. Bring it out wherever you go.

Lord, I know you didn’t come to condemn the world, so forgive me for when I have. I know you’ve given us discernment so help me to use it in love and faith. I thank you for honoring me beyond my comprehension. Help me to honor all people, keeping true to who You’ve created and called me to be.

I love to hear what you have to say. Do you have any questions about how to honor that you’d like to ask? I’ll try to answer with the best of my understanding (and research).

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, you may think I’m avoiding a far too common scenario. I know some of you think I’m forgetting some straightforward instructions in Scripture.

Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4 (NLT)

So watch yourselves!
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”

We are to rebuke a believer who sins. Jesus expands the thought in Matthew 18:15-17 (NLT)

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

The Church is to cut off those who don’t repent and still call themselves followers of Christ. We can’t participate in deeds of darkness committed by followers Christ, instead we are to expose them. Paul said in Ephesians 5:3-14 (NLT)

Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.

Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said,
“Awake, O sleeper,?  rise up from the dead,?  and Christ will give you light.”

And it even becomes clearer how the Church needs to deal with leaders who continue in sin – they are to be reprimanded publicly. Paul told Timothy concerning elders that:

Do not listen to an accusation against an elder unless it is confirmed by two or three witnesses. Those who sin should be reprimanded in front of the whole church; this will serve as a strong warning to others. I solemnly command you in the presence of God and Christ Jesus and the holy angels to obey these instructions without taking sides or showing favoritism to anyone. 1 Timothy 5:19-21 (NLT)

So how do we honor and still excommunicate?

It’s easier when we understand what excommunication was really meant to be. If you’ve had any any experience with it in a local church, my experience says you’ll not have fond memories of it. It’s harder for church leaders to administer excommunication than it is for a church goer to leave the church – and it should be. However one reason for this that is because we view it as punitive. Look over the verses above carefully and tell me where you see it’s meant to punish.

Sure, some portions can be interpreted that way, but let’s pull a fuller understanding of the Father’s heart into it.

He has given us the ministry of reconciliation:

So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:16-21 (NLT)

And Paul makes it clear what the purpose of excommunication is to teach the unrepentant heart:

Timothy, my son, here are my instructions for you, based on the prophetic words spoken about you earlier. May they help you fight well in the Lord’s battles. Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked. Hymenaeus and Alexander are two examples. I threw them out and handed them over to Satan so they might learn not to blaspheme God. 1 Timothy 1:18-20 (NLT)

Removing someone from fellowship removes them from the grace of the Father extended to the Bride – His church. This is more profound than we grasp in a society that has so many churches within driving distance. But understand it is a spiritual act to excommunicate an unrepentant individual. The goal of it is to bring the offender the place of reconciliation.

It cannot be punitive ,“You’ve messed up big-time.”
It cannot be cleansing, “You’ve intoxicated the purity of the church.”
It cannot be self-righteous, “You’re not good enough.”

It is only done to the one who refuses to acknowledge any wrong doing in their sin. It should be both rare and also more common than we see in most churches today. Remember, its the job of the Church, not an individual follower of Christ to excommunicate someone unrepentant. It can be done with honor. Here’s how:

• Lead Humbly – you’re not in the right place if you enjoy putting someone in his or her place.

A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. 2 Timothy 2:24-26 (NLT)

• Give Scripture It’s Authority – Make sure the offense is not adiaphora (things indifferent).

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 2 Timothy 3:16 (New Living Translation)

• Remember the Goal – even in excommunication the goal is Reconciliation

So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” 2 Corinthians 5:20 (NLT)

Don’t stand for sin. You’re not loving anyone when you let them continue in sin.

If the godly give in to the wicked,
it’s like polluting a fountain or muddying a spring. Proverbs 25:26 (New Living Translation)

But honor everyone, even if you need to turn them over to satan.

Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king. 1 Peter 2:17 (NASB)

This is not an easy road to walk, but we must to honor Scripture, the Father, and the one who is unrepentant in their sin.

I’d appreciate your comments on this one.

When a follower of Christ has sinned, and has repented of that sin, trust still needs to be restored. This is how the process of restoring trust begins:

1. Allow them to feel godly sorrow. Ask questions like, “Who has been affected by your sin?” Help them see the broader picture.
2. Lead them through to solutions with questions like “What are you going to do to make it right with those who are affected by your sin?” “How are you going to do this?” and “When are you going to do this?”
3. Stand with them. Don’t set them up to fail. They came to you because they trusted you with their sin. Don’t hold them up to public ridicule. Don’t make them an illustration in your next sermon. If a public confession is needed, make sure the public knows this isn’t a topic of gossip as well as their role in the ministry of reconciliation.

Use what satan intended for evil for the glory and honor of the Father. Honor those who have sinned because the Father has lifted you up to His level while you were still in sin.

Trust is something that must be earned. When it’s lost it must be re-earned. This assumes – as a person they’ve trusted their failing with – you’ll give them opportunity to rebuild trust…which means they’ll have the opportunity to fail again as well.

Don’t set them up to fail. Don’t give them enough rope to hang themselves. Stand with them in their decisions to make things right with as many people as they’ve affected with their sin.

When you’re part of a community, this will ensure honor is part of your DNA.

It’s never easy to journey with someone through a difficult time, but when they want to restore trust, honoring them as who they are brings great rewards.

I’d love to hear about a time when someone stood by you.

You’re a leader. You may be a pastor, mentor or parent, but you’re in a position of authority. Someone you’re responsible for has sinned and they come expecting the condemnation they are under to be compounded because they’ve confessed a hidden sin and know the myth of grace many in the church hold to.(The “myth of grace” is its for me and not you.)

But Jesus fulfills the prophecy of Isaiah:

A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;
Isaiah 42:3 (New International Version)

Your goal is not to make the problem go away. Don’t lose one the Father has entrusted to you. Your goal is not to cover up the sin. Don’t corrupt the ones you’ve been entrusted with.

Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4 (NLT)

So watch yourselves!
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”

Your goal is reconciliation. The Father has given you this ministry (2 Corinthians 5:16-21). Reconciliation simply means “to make friends again” – your goal is to help the one who is a smoldering wick to be reconciled to:

His or her self
His or her friends
His or her Father

How do you do this?

To begin the process of reconciliation, the person who has sinned must repent of the sin. They must agree with Scripture that it’s wrong and has hurt themselves and others. But I need to warn you, for their sake get to the root of the problem. The “sin” is not the issue. The issue is the wound that allowed the sin to be acceptable to this child of the King in that particular situation.

You get to the root by asking open-ended questions that allows them to examine their motives. Don’t preach. Don’t share your opinion. Ask them questions like “What’s the problem?”, “What can I help you deal with today?” and “Why do you think you did it?”

When you get to the root problem, take the following steps:

1. Ask the Father, Son or Spirit to take the person back to the first time they encountered the root problem in their mind. To make sure the individual is “there”; ask them to describe the situation or picture.
2. Ask Him to reveal the place where the lie took root.
3. Ask the person to find where Jesus (or the Father, or the Spirit) is in the picture.
4. Ask Jesus (or the Father, or the Spirit) to show them the lie they learned from the situation (there can be more than one).
5. Have them renounce the lie.
6. Ask Jesus (or the Father, or the Spirit) what the truth is.
7. Have the person agree with and declare the truth.

There may be many root issues to deal with. If it’s a situation where someone was in a position of trust but they’ve lost that trust because of sin, time needs to be given to both deal with the issues and rebuild the trust that was lost. There shouldn’t be a set time, before they are restored, because it’s a process that’s different for each person and circumstance.

In the next post we’ll talk about the process of restoring trust.

Love to have your questions and comments.

The Hebrew word for honor is also translated at times “glory”. How you honor the unhonorable is to look for the glory the Father has deposited into their lives and pull it to the surface.

Let’s make it practical… someone bursts into your office and screams at you for the current problem they are facing, even though it’s the choices they’ve made that have led them to this crisis… how do you see the “glory” in them?

Pray, while they stand there venting, “Father, what do you love about them?”

Then, when you have a chance, affirm what the Father shows you.

So let’s say this person is a mother and her son is in detox and somehow she’s blaming you for her son’s problems (by the way, this is a common scenario for pastors). What does the Father love about this mother’s passion? There are many things that could be reflecting the nature of the Father. He’ll show you what He’s most proud of in her. Here are some thoughts I’ve received from Lance Wallnau (www.LanceLearning.com) that you can consider in that moment:

Know that the person you’re looking at is a unique creation of the Father and that on the inside of you is a supernatural anointing that has the power to connect and release the unconditional love that that person needs. Your look and care and presence helps them to connect with the greatness that’s locked up on the inside.

The favour of God and the grace of God is flowing through you and if you look closely, even behind their eyes you’ll begin to see there is a re-created, newly created powerful eternal spirit – the likeness and image of God being made manifest in that person right now.

And you’re experiencing the release of total, unconditional acceptance and as you do it, you’re experiencing contribution and growth. And you’re alive when you contribute. You’re alive when you grow.

Now look to see the glory the Father has deposited in them. Look to see the gold He wants you to pull to the surface. What pleases the Father in them? Jesus did not come to condemn them, and He’s not condemning them now. He’s come that they might have life and have it to the full. And you have an opportunity to see that life break the surface.

What you’re doing is training yourself to see people as the Father sees them. And guess what? He’s not angry with His beloved any longer.

“To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again.
Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:9-10 (New International Version)

By the way, use those same thoughts for those outside the faith as well. It’s the kindness of God that leads us all to repentance.

Love to hear your stories about when this approach has helped you. I know you have questions. I’ll try to answer them especially if they aren’t covered in future posts.

I need to give a warning, and I’m not here to single anyone out. But I have heard it from many people and I confess, I’ve participated at times. We can’t allow it any longer in the Body.

Let’s go to a Bible story that’s rarely taught in Sunday School.

Genesis 9:18-28 (New Living Translation)

The sons of Noah who came out of the boat with their father were Shem, Ham, and Japheth. (Ham is the father of Canaan.) From these three sons of Noah came all the people who now populate the earth.

After the flood, Noah began to cultivate the ground, and he planted a vineyard. One day he drank some wine he had made, and he became drunk and lay naked inside his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw that his father was naked and went outside and told his brothers. Then Shem and Japheth took a robe, held it over their shoulders, and backed into the tent to cover their father. As they did this, they looked the other way so they would not see him naked.

Noah was a righteous man. He was the last one God called “perfect”. It’s clear from Noah’s response later in the text that his son Ham was likely going to his brothers to laugh about the state of their “perfect” father. It was not a concerned “What do we do?” or else Noah would not have cursed Canaan. What Ham did was to further the shame of his father, and the curse was passed to his kids.

Children, stop doing this to your parents. Quit mocking them even in fun for their mistakes or idiosyncrasies. Adult children do this in front of their kids and don’t expect it to be returned upon them later in life. Your judgment of others limits your destiny. This is especially clear when children mock or try to shame their parents. I’m not old, but I’ve lived long enough to see children judge their parents the same way their parents judged their grandparents.

The lesson from this account isn’t just for covering up the mistakes of parents. It should be our model every time shame is exposed. We don’t make a joke about it. We don’t hold them up to judgment. We show them honor by not exposing their shame.

Incidentally, not exposing the shame of one who is fallen but who has repented is one of the most difficult things for a church leader to do. People want the details. But if they’re not part of the solution or part of the problem, to discuss the details is simply gossip. And if the individual has repented and is trying to make it right, their is no reason to expose their shame. The easy course is for the church leader to expose the sin and stop the vultures circling him or her. It’s easy enough to expose a dead corpse to the birds.

But our mandate is reconciliation and we cannot expose the shame of others to save ourselves from unfair judgments. If you’re a church leader, don’t worry. I’ll give you tools to honor those who have fallen and those who want to rip into you because you won’t play the gossip game. Stay tuned.

I’ve been working to set up the store on RevTrev.com. Still a few things to do. I hope to have it up on the weekend… but really don’t know if I have the time to. Anyway, it’s always timely to talk about how we honor in conflict.

Honoring someone does not mean there will never be a time you don’t disagree with them. It doesn’t mean there won’t be arguments. Honoring doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. The closer another person is to you, the greater the opportunity for disagreements.

So you need to know how to to fight and still honor. Here are some simple guidelines… simple for me to write, possibly not so simple for you to remember in the heat of conflict. Learn them now and apply them later. And don’t expect the other person to know or appreciate the rules your fighting with, especially if you spring it on them.

H one in on the topic at hand. Speak to the situation “This is what you did/said; this is why I disagree/it upset me.”

O nly speak words of life. Cut out the sarcasm, condemnation and shame.

N ame calling and labels are never to be returned. Resorting to name calling and labels is the same as placing curses on people. Don’t do it to them, even if they started it.

O perate in the present. Avoid saying, “You always” and “You never”. Both are untrue and are used to simply cause pain. If you’re phyiscally present with the person, look at them in the eye and don’t turn your back to them.

R esolve the argument. It’s OK to disagree. Allow them the right to hold their own opinion. Don’t go to bed angry because it gives the enemy a foothold. (Ephesians 4:25-27). Following an argument, don’t bring it up with others to rally support or curry pity; continue to honor the other.

Have you tried to honor in conflict? It isn’t easy, but its necessary. Love to hear about it or if you have a question or comment, please post it.

We can honor the Father because He’s first honored us. He has lifted us up and seated us in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:4-6). He has changed our relationship from being a servant to being a friend (John 15:15), He’s called us His co-workers(2 Corinthians 6:1), and He’s made us joint-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17).

Why has He done this? Why does He cause the sun to rise on the evil and good and send rain on the righteous and unrighteous (Matthew 5:45)?

It’s the same reason why we need to honor all people:

He can’t allow another’s lack of honor to affect who He is.

I can’t allow another’s attitude to change who He has called me to be.

Biblically speaking, honor isn’t simply for the honorable. Honor is…

Raising another up to my level, because I can’t allow their attitude to change who I am.

If honoring someone is raising them up to my level, we should find evidence of it being done in Scripture. There are plenty of examples. I’ll give you three:

Jonathan did this for David when he gave David the servant his clothes (1 Samuel 18:3-4 ).

And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself. Jonathan sealed the pact by taking off his robe and giving it to David, together with his tunic, sword, bow, and belt. (NLT)

David did this for Mephibosheth when he gave the crippled grandson of his enemy room at his table (2 Samuel 9:8 ).

Mephibosheth bowed respectfully and exclaimed, “Who is your servant, that you should show such kindness to a dead dog like me?” (NLT)

Most vividly, Jesus did this when He washed Judas’ feet after Judas was already prompted to betray Him (John 13:2-5).

It was time for supper, and the devil had already prompted Judas, son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.

Have you ever caught that in the story? The devil had already prompted Judas to betray Jesus, and Jesus washed his feet. His example is why I can assert “Honor is raising another up to my level, because I can’t allow their attitude to change who I am.”

Jesus did it. He gave us the Spirit to help us. This is how and why we honor all people. Lord, help all your children to grasp this and not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications into every area of our lives.

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. Galatians 5:25 (The Message)

Love to hear your thoughts. The next post will be on how we can honor in conflict.

We are to honor the honorable, but the Bible also tells us to honor those who should be honorable, but who may not always act honorably:

Father and Mother (Exodus 20:12)
Wives (1 Peter 3:7)
Widows (1 Timothy 5:3)
Kings (1 Peter 2:17)

These all make sense to our current definition of honor and the Bible promises if we honor our parents we will have a full life in the land God has given (Ex 20:12) that’s a bonus!

But our current definition allows us to dishonor those who aren’t honorable – and not all of our parents, or wives, or leaders have been. And the Bible doesn’t let us live with that excuse.

In fact, Peter challenges us with revolutionary living:

Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.
1 Peter 2:17 (New American Standard Bible)

Let’s be clear here: the king, who Peter was telling the first readers to honor, was most likely the one who ordered his death.

Why would the Bible tell us to “Honor all people”?

It’s what the Father has done for us.

Honor is when one changes the relationship with another. It’s when you raise someone up to your level. This is what the Father did for us when we became part of His family and He seated us in heavenly places.

But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-6 (New Living Translation)

I’ll draw this out over the next few posts. Love to hear what you think.

To understand what the Father has done, let’s take a quick look at Revelation 4…

…the twenty-four elders fall down and worship the one sitting on the throne (the one who lives forever and ever). And they lay their crowns before the throne and say,

“You are worthy, O Lord our God,
to receive glory and honor and power.
For you created all things,
and they exist because you created what you pleased.” (Rev 4:10-11 NLT)

Did you ever wonder how you can give God honor? Danny Silk asks the question: “Isn’t that a little bit like saying ‘Bill Gates, I give you money.’?”

How can we give God honor?

Some teach it’s the crowns we throw at the Father’s feet that honor Him. I’ve got problems with that.

We will receive crowns for what we do (1 Corinthians 3:8). It’s part of our reward. Don’t think it’s prideful to look forward to the reward you’re getting. Jesus told us to store up our treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:19-20).

That’s not to say you should brag about it – no need to get your full reward while still on earth (Matthew 6:1-5 ). But please understand, what you do on earth, in the name of Jesus, will get you rewarded in heaven. Part of those rewards are crowns.

Since we can earn these crowns by doing what we do, can we really be good enough to give the “God-who-made-everything”, anything?

In a way, we bring Him honor when people see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven ( Matthew 5:16). This reveals the Father’s honor, it doesn’t add to it.

So how in heaven do we give the Father honor?

I’d love your comments. I’ll share mine in the next post.

How can you refrain from condemning others and know how to deal with those who condemn you?

The answer to both questions is “honor”.

Church leaders tend to immediately love the idea of honor. With all the external influences on individuals spirituality, honor is hardly ever automatically given to them anymore.

But there’s a warning in Scripture about that attitude:

It is not good to eat too much honey,
nor is it honorable to seek one’s own honor.
Proverbs 25:27 (New International Version)

And our Father gives us the path to receive honor:

Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.
1 Samuel 2:30 (New International Version)

The Son confirms it:

My Father will honor the one who serves me.
John 12:26 (New International Version)

It’s best we understand honor to know how it enables us to both refrain from condemning others and to also know how to deal with those who condemn us. Let’s start with an accepted definition:

Honor is the evaluation of a person’s trustworthiness and social status based on that individual’s espousals and actions. Honor is deemed exactly what determines a person’s character: whether or not the person reflects honesty, respect, integrity, or fairness. ?< http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor>

It’s natural to honor the honorable. The Bible confirms we are to honor those worthy of honor including the Father (Exodus 12:42) and the Son (John 5:23). But the Bible doesn’t let us off with living out such an ordinary definition of honor. I’ll explain more in the next post.

I’m really appreciating your comments. Keep them coming.

The answer to this question is something I need to live out regularly on Twitter – @revtrev I’m writing a book called “Follow Me As I Follow Christ – a blueprint for Kingdom Influence on Twitter” and I needed to included this information.

So far, our focus has been on understanding how you can judge without condemning. But what are you to do when you’re condemned by others? You are going to be unfairly judged. So let’s address how to deal with it.

It’s so easy to be defensive and lash out. Hurt people hurt people. But you don’t have to. You can break the cycle. Here’s how: Ignore or Confront… but Forgive and Bless.

Let’s draw this out a bit…

Ignore
Nehemiah didn’t stop his work on the wall to confront those who unfairly spread lies about him. Maybe this is the tactic the Father has for you. Ask Him and obey what He says. But be careful if it’s in your personality to avoid conflict because you may just be assuming the Father is telling you to ignore it.

Confront
Jesus confronted the religious leaders of the day when they said it was by satan that He was casting out demons. Perhaps it serves the Father’s purpose for you to confront. Don’t do this because you enjoy it. You’re in the wrong place if you enjoy putting someone in his or her place. Still, don’t back away if the Father tells you to stand.

Forgive
We’re taught to forgive others for our sake, not for theirs. When we forgive others, Christ can forgive us. Forgiveness is not an option. You must forgive. If you want more information on this, check out my booklet “The Freedom of Forgiveness” or click on the Forgiveness link on this blog.

Bless them
Let’s let the words of Paul to the church in Rome expand this concept:

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,
“I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads. Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
Romans 12:18-21 (New Living Translation)

It’s time I let you in on the secret of how to react when others judge you. That’s coming in the next post… need to keep you coming back Love to hear your comments.

Let’s take a closer look at Matthew 7 to see what Jesus is really saying to His followers about judging. Peterson gives some insight into the passage with his transliteration of it.

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. Matthew 7:1-5 (The Message)

With this insight, have you condemned others? Is the Spirit convicting you of it? We can’t pick on others even when they’re wrong. If you have, deal with it now.

“Lord, I have agreed with others and the enemy by judging another. I now agree with you that it is wrong. Forgive me and help me to love with your love. With this sin covered by Your blood, I close the door to the tormentors assigned to me because of this sin. I renounce the spirit of judgment and spirit of criticism and I say to them ‘no more!’. I welcome the mind of Christ to indwell me and the Holy Spirit to convict me and to teach me. Lord, I thank you and I need you.”

If you can, go and ask for forgiveness. Do this only if they know you’ve unfairly condemned them. If they have no idea what you’ve thought or said, you’re not doing them any favour to bring it up and then ask for forgiveness.

In the next post we’ll deal with how to respond when you’ve been wrongly judged.

Finally, “Krino” is also translated “to condemn”. Since we can so easily move from discernment to condemnation – especially when we don’t discern in love – we need to understand what condemnation is.

First of all, it’s not the same as conviction. Both condemnation and conviction bring pain and sorrow, but they bring different kinds…

For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
2 Corinthians 7:10 (New Living Translation)

Too many well-meaning people try to bring “conviction” but really they bring condemnation, because it is not their role to convict. Jesus said:

But in fact, it is best for you that I go away, because if I don’t, the Advocate won’t come. If I do go away, then I will send him to you. And when he comes, he will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment. The world’s sin is that it refuses to believe in me. Righteousness is available because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more. Judgment will come because the ruler of this world has already been judged.
John 16:7-11 (New Living Translation)

When should you condemn? Never.

Don’t condemn those inside the family…

Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? They are responsible to the Lord, so let him judge whether they are right or wrong. And with the Lord’s help, they will do what is right and will receive his approval. Romans 14:4 (New Living Translation)

Don’t condemn those Jesus doesn’t condemn…

“God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. ?John 3:17 (New Living Translation)

You’re job is not to condemn. It’s not even to bring conviction. You’re job is to show the Father’s love that’s what you’ll be judged by both in this life and the next (Matthew 25:34-40).

We’ll get back to discussing How to Judge and Not Be A Jerk in the next posting…

Trevor Lund
Expectancy Ministries

“Krino” is also translated “to decide”. To decide means “to cut off every alternative”. We make decisions almost every waking moment of the day. Most of them are automatic and we don’t need to think about them. Others need much more consideration. The Father has blessed you with a mind so you can use it. Here are 7 steps to help you make God-honoring decisions:

1. Ask Him for wisdom. Once you ask, move on the wisdom He provides. It’s faith that pleases Him, so know He’ll give you the wisdom you ask for. James tells us:

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. James 1:5-8 (New Living Translation)

2. Understand the situation. Examine the situation and figure out what decision you have to make. An open question that accurately reflects the real decision problem you’re facing will help you get going. What do I do about x?

Joyful is the person who finds wisdom,
the one who gains understanding.
For wisdom is more profitable than silver,
and her wages are better than gold.
Proverbs 3:13-14 (New Living Translation)

3. Brainstorm. Figure out all the possible choices you can make. Don’t let this overwhelm you; instead let your creativity flow. Don’t edit your thoughts here. Get the input of others.

Plans go wrong for lack of advice;
many advisers bring success.
Proverbs 15:22 (New Living Translation)

4. Count the Costs. Pick one or two plausible solutions and weigh the possible outcomes. List the positive and negative results of each choice. Listen to what the Spirit says. Sometimes He’ll tell you things that don’t make sense until you’re farther down the path.

“But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Luke 14:28 (New Living Translation)

5. Consider what the Bible Says. Ask others for Godly counsel. Take the counsel of trusted advisors with great consideration, but know there may be some who are affected by your decision that don’t want their lives to change. Don’t let this stop you if you have already clearly heard the Father.

Make plans by seeking advice;
if you wage war, obtain guidance.
Proverbs 20:18 (New International Version)

6. Make a decision. Follow the “path of peace”. This is not to say you’re following the path of least resistance. It means you have the peace of the Father that doesn’t always make sense.

You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
Isaiah 26:3 (New Living Translation)

7. Evaluate your decision. Don’t evaluate too soon. You may choose to blame the Father or think you’ve misheard. Spend time in His presence and listen to His voice instead of the voices from the situation you find yourself in.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (New Living Translation)

Here’s a prayer to help you get started in this process:

Father, I know when I ask for wisdom, you’ll give it. You’re a good God who gives good gifts. Help me decide with discernment. Point me to trustworthy advisers. I will follow where Your peace leads. I know you direct my steps and I thank you for caring about my every need.

Now walk boldly in the direction you decide on.

The Greeks had a word “krino”. It meant to, “discern,” “decide” and “condemn”. We most commonly translate “krino” into English as “judge”.

It’s easy for us to move from discernment to condemnation without any thought of it. But the Bible tells us not to be so hasty:

Be honest in your judgment and do not decide at a glance (superficially and by appearances); but judge fairly and righteously. John 7:24 (Amplified Bible)

So how do we discern? How do we decide? And how do we condemn? Let’s start with discernment:

Spiritual discernment is how the Spirit shows the church or individuals what the Father wants them to do and be.

Discernment is more than just a skill. Discernment is a gift from God before it is anything else. Yet there are clearly skills you put to use when activating your gift, and you can become better at it through training and experience.

These are the main criteria the Bible gives us to look for when we discern a situation:

• Is it governed by love ? (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)?
• Does it center us onto Jesus the Christ and Lord ? (1 Corinthians 12:3)?
• Does it direct us to Scripture, not away from it ? (Isaiah 8:19, 20)?
• Does it builds up the church and its members ? (Ephesians 4:11-12)?

Discernment is a supernatural gift, and – as with all gifts of the Spirit – when it’s not done in love, it perverts into something ugly. People who use discernment without love are critical people. They easily condemn.

Love keeps discernment in its proper, life-giving place.

If we love our Christian brothers and sisters, it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead.
1 John 3:14 (New Living Translation)

Move in the gift of discernment. Here’s how:

We are told to “eagerly desire” spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 12:29, 14:1, 14:12 and 14:39). You operate in it by and through faith and in a continual attitude of worship. There is not space to draw this out further, so let’s simply summarize how to move in the gift of discernment:

• Eagerly desire discernment
• Operate in it by and through faith
• It’s activated in worship.

Gifts can come through impartation, so let’s move on to it right now. Have you been eagerly desiring discernment? It can be yours right now. Believe that you’ll receive this gift, then act on what He shows you.

Father, right here and now we impart the gift of discernment on those who read these words and who by faith and in love choose to act on the gift of discernment that You freely bestow. Lord, give them dreams, give them visions, give them a deep inner knowing. Empower them to speak out in faith and in love. Father, we ask also for the gifts of wisdom and knowledge needed to accompany discernment. Thank you for being a Good Father who gives good gifts to His children who ask.

Now listen to what the Father says. Don’t look at the situation to find solutions; look to see the Father’s will. The gift is yours. Stir it up. Use it. Impart it to others.

We’ll continue our discussion at ‘krino” next time by looking at “decision”.

_____

These thoughts come from How to Judge Without Being A Jerk by Trevor H. Lund.

Judging is one of the most misunderstood concepts in the Bible. It’s confusing.

Jesus tells us not to judge.

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
Matthew 7:1-2 (New Living Translation)

Paul says we’ll judge the angels, so judge between yourself.

Don’t you realize that someday we believers will judge the world? And since you are going to judge the world, can’t you decide even these little things among yourselves? Don’t you realize that we will judge angels? So you should surely be able to resolve ordinary disputes in this life. If you have legal disputes about such matters, why go to outside judges who are not respected by the church? 1 Corinthians 6:2-4 (New Living Translation)

Jesus says He’ll return to judge the world

But all who reject my message and me will be judged on the Day of Judgment by the truth I have spoken.
John 12:48 (New Living Translation)

But He also says He didn’t come to judge the world, and that He won’t judge those who hear Him but don’t obey Him.

God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.
John 3:17 (New Living Translation)

I will not judge those who hear me but don’t obey me, for I have come to save the world and not to judge it. ?John 12:47 (New Living Translation)

We’re told to test everything and hold to the good.

Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 (NIV)

By the same person who after talking about the retrobateness of culture in Romans 1, followed it up with this in Romans 2 -

You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things. Since you judge others for doing these things, why do you think you can avoid God’s judgment when you do the same things? Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?
Romans 2:1-4 (New Living Translation)

So with all of this confusion, I find most of us have the same idea about judging -

“You don’t judge me, and I’ll judge you when you deserve it.”

We need a better understanding of judging. We’ll get to that in the next post.

I was speaking to a Comparative Religions Class at a local university on the topic of the early church councils. Much of the early debate of our spiritual ancestors revolved around the nature of Christ. Councils were called to settle disagreements.

The Council of Nicea (325) was called to settle the controversy the followers of Arius promoted by teaching that there was a time when Christ did not exist. The Council of Nicea met to decide: “Was Jesus Christ God or was He just a man?”

Teaching about the Council of Nicea led beautifully into asking the class the same question. I took a less direct approach.

I asked, “Have you ever been offended by someone telling you Jesus is the only way?” All but three were quick to agree. This was a secular university.

I responded, “I’m a follower of Jesus and I ask your forgiveness for others who name His name and use His words to condemn you. Jesus said He didn’t come into the world to condemn it. I’m sorry for the others who have done it in His name.”

That got their attention, so I continued, “It would be perfectly legitimate to feel offended at Jesus, if He was just a man and He said, ‘I am the way, the truth and the life.’

But what if He was more than a man? What if He was the one who put 400 million stars in our galaxy and 400 million galaxies in our universe, and who knows how many more universes there are left to imagine? What if there was no philosophy good enough and no good work great enough to measure up to the standard of such a Being beyond our comprehension?

It would mean Jesus wasn’t being exclusive when He said He was the Way. It would mean He was being inclusive, making a way where we couldn’t make one on our own.”

The students sat in stunned silence. More than a few were wiping tears from their eyes.

It’s the kindness of God that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). So why do we act as if it’s our judgmental attitudes that will lead others to it?

The discussion around judging goes beyond that because we live in a fallen world where fallen people – and even the redeemed – pass judgement without full knowledge. We have all been unfairly judged and some have been condemned of sin without thought to reconciliation. We’re told to judge, and told not to judge. So how to we judge without being a jerk?

Let’s start by getting a clearer understanding of what the Bible says concerning judging… that comes in the next post.

Trevor Lund