I Lift My Eyes

Too often we let our situation inform our theology instead of letting our theology inform our situation.

I had given up work I loved, a beautiful home, dear family and friends and my reputation. We laid our  future on the altar and went in obedience to what the Spirit was telling us to do.

It’s not like we went to a developing nation. You could get most of the technology you could get in Canada, at an unjustifiable premium – but I still had access to EBay.  Cars and gas and food and shelter cost more than at home, but the food was tastier with a higher fat content and no one drove the ten minutes to town very often. Let’s be honest, the McDonald’s served lattes and you could go to the beach every day. It’s not like we were asked to do anything like missionaries who are called overseas. Although they have a purpose and my purpose was to find one.

The first few months were tough. I felt isolated and rejected by many. I knew it was my choice to have those feelings, but it was difficult to fight them when I was getting rejected. I think the change for me started when I choose to leave holiday mode and started waking up early to spend time with God.

It was in those times – when I lifted my eyes to him – that I was lifted from self-pity and complaining. I don’t know if I verbalized complaints much. I know it’s theologically correct to  do so (I mean come on, 2/3rds of the Psalms are laments!) but I’m generally not one to verbalize complaints… unless it’s to banks that let people steal your money. (We don’t have time to get into that here. We got it back.)

Spending time alone with God is not an option. It was the reason Jesus did only what the Father said – he spent time alone with him. We are so quick to forget we are in relationship with God. To often we choose to be in ‘holiday mode’.

If you’re going through a tough time, read some good Psalms of lament. May I suggest Psalm 13 to whet your appetite?  Lift your eyes – the choice is yours – and remind yourself daily, if not hourly, of the promises God has made to you.

-Trevor Lund