This is a question often used to to justify not asking for forgiveness from someone we’ve offended.
It’s never easy to swallow our pride, humble ourselves, admit we were wrong and ask for forgiveness. But what Jesus taught in Matthew 5:23-26 was that we need to leave our sacrifice at the altar and go and seek forgiveness when we’ve offended someone. This is why we celebrate the Lord’s supper regularly and why I’m a fan of celebrating communion every time we gather as the Body of Christ. It allows us the opportunity, and reminds us to judge the body rightly. We allow the Holy Spirit to examine our hearts in regards to our relationships and we make sure we remain in right relationship with the Son by ensuring we’re in right relationship with members of His bride.
But what happens when we try to make amends and the one we’ve offended doesn’t choose to forgive us?
Remember what I said about Rabbi Paul? Here’s where his teaching comes in. Once you sincerely seek forgiveness, you are free-whether the other person forgives you or not. Paul wrote in Romans 12:18:
Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. ?(NLT)
So once you’ve sincerely sought forgiveness, you are free. So be sure to do what Jesus said in Matthew 5:24:
…leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. (NLT)
Asking forgiveness from someone we’ve wronged can be a very difficult thing to do. But now that you know the truth, remember the whole truth – God has not only told you to do it, He’ll empower you to do it. It may be good to discuss these thoughts with your pastor if you need some support in doing what the Bible instructs you.
We’re praying for you.
I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are wonderful! Thanks!
Who’s your cousin? No. This post was written by me. I was asked by many people what they needed to do.
Blessings
If you have family problems that someone else caused and you go and say you are sorry so that things can get worked out. IIf they refuse to accept your apology and it has been 6 months already and they still wont work things out . What does Jesus want us to do in that kind of sisitutation ? How does the person feel since I said I am for sorry and they wre the ones that caused the trouble. I wonder what are they thinking since I said I am sorry.I wonder if it bothers them. I pray for them everyday but I am totally been so hurt by them. I keep leaning on Jesus to help me and to do what is right.
I dont mean to judge but they are christains and do alot for the church except work out things in our family. How does Jesus see them ? I dont understand why they act that way.
God Bless
Teresa,
I’ll try to answer this in a blog post. I don’t have all the answers but it’s alright if some relationships change over time. You’re not responsible for others attitude. You’re only required to do what the Lord commands.
Why were you apologizing if they did the wrong? I’m suspecting it’s your reaction to things.
You can email me with more information and I’ll try to answer better.
Praying for you.
This sounds exactly like something i am going through recently. My ex sis-in-law, with whom i have never had a disagreement with in 15 years, has two children with my brother. They are adopted and i have loved them, and they love me very much. My sis in law became angry because she overheard me say a little prayer with her 6 year ols son, to comfort him after she UNJUSTLY yelled at him for something. I made no mention of the unfairness of it, I simply wanted to calm him down. Keep in mind that when the children were baptised, she and my brother named me the boy’s Godmother. She yelled at me that day, “I don’t want you talking to the kids about God”. And “you’re not his Godmother anymore”. She has been studying yoga intensely for a couple of years and i am aware that Chrisitianity and yogis don’t mix well. I immediately apologized, told her i was wrong, and it isn’t my decision as to how the children will be raised in a religious sense. I have apologized a few times, actually, and told her i wouldn’t talk to them about God. She never responded, except to say that if I want to see the kids, I should make arrangements with my brother. My brother lives out of state. I don’t know what to do. It’s especially hard that iit’s Christmas…I miss the children so much. I have been there for her, helping day and nigh, for the past five years, since they adopted them. She told me before the adoption that i would be like their second mother. I have no children (I had cancer when i was 25) and am unmarried. The children have always been a very bright spot in my life. They seemed confused the first time i saw them after this incident. My brother thought that she would come around in a couple of months. He is not advocating on my behalf evern though he is a Christian. I find it so hard to believe that he, nor anyone in her family, has not talked to her about this, and told her it’s wrong to cut off the tie with the children, especially because my brother lives out of state. I am very sad, and hope you can help. Thank you.
Debbie,
There is a lot to say on this so I might make it into a blog post for you.
The main thing that comes to my mind is “Prayer changes things.” When we stop praying pleading prayers and agree with God for people – I find things change. This means I pray, “Lord, the promise of the Holy Spirit is for me and my children and all who are far off…this includes ______” There are a lot of promises we can pray over people like your sister-in-law and her children.
Remember to bless them. Bless the kids because you love them and your sister-in-law because we’re told to bless those who curse us. Blessing and asking God to bless people changes things.
I also stand in the place of people before God and ask for his forgiveness of them. Jesus prayed on the cross “Father forgive them, they don’t know what they do.” He interceded to the Father on their behalf. We can do the same. Things change.
Our part (and yours) is to make sure you become better not bitter. It really is a choice you may need to make every time the thoughts come in that tell you you’ve been wronged. Forgive her and love her as much as she lets you and pray effective, fervent prayers because those are the kind that get a lot done.
Praying for you. Yours is not the easy road. But it is possible. Keep loving.
Hi,
I recently had a fall out with a friend and it started from him. It’s a long story, but he has shown to have different personalities, one minute he is talking to me next minute he doesn’t and I feel like I have done something wrong. He told me a while back he has ADD(attention disorder) but stated that was all he had and nothing else. He is currently on medication for it. He said something to me that really hurt and in retaliation I criticized him for his disorder and said some very hurtful stuff. I have forgiven him for his words but when I asked for his forgiveness he says he will never forgive me and and will not communicate with me. I feel so bad knowing I may have left an emotional scar on him and I can not seem to stop hurting although I apologized and asked for his forgiveness. Now it’s like I am an enemy when before we could talk about anything together. How can I go about without feeling hurt everyday that I may have created an enemy against me. I never argue and I don’t like to and this is first time someone will not forgive me, although he was one who caused this with his multiple personalities.
When we’ve done everything we can to live at peace with everyone, we need to remember we’re not responsible for others actions. God forgives us when we ask Him to.
We need to do what we can to make it right. Often what we’ve done is destroy trust. Trust takes time to develop and restore. Keep showing love, but don’t keep apologizing.
MPD complicates this completely. Be sure you have the support of people who know about it if you’re wanting to walk long term with this person. The good news is people can be healed from it.