Do I only need to forgive myself if I have taken advantage of others?

I so enjoy the question I get by email, in comments and in the Forum. Here’s one from a comment I needed more space to continue.

Question:

Do you agree that I only need to forgive myself if I have taken advantage of others?

Answer:

Peter,

I think that’s a start, but in most cases we have to go further.

Jesus told us:

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24 (New International Version)

So I agree with Him that we have to try to make it right. Now what about if the person doesn’t know we’ve taken advantage of them? They wouldn’t have anything against us right?

My advice is this: you don’t need to confess your thoughts that nobody else knows – I’m talking about lust or anger or jealousy – you’d only be doing more harm. You’d likely destroy any relationship and quite honestly, I’ve seen people confess their lust in hopes of starting an affair…and it’s worked.

But I don’t think that’s really what your asking. You’re wondering about taking advantage of others and that appears to me to be more than just negative thoughts.

You need to make it right. If possible you need to make restitution. I think the Biblical model is 7x (Genesis 4:17). If we’re talking finances that can be tough. If we’re talking relationships it can be impossible.

Does that mean we don’t try? Hardly.

I’ve outlined how to Ask for Forgiveness here:
http://revtrev.com/forgiveness/asking-for-forgiveness/

And How To Ask for Forgiveness here:
http://revtrev.com/forgiveness/how-to-ask-for-forgiveness/

Now the big excuse people have is: What If The Person Won’t Forgive Me When I Ask? I’ve answered that question here:
http://revtrev.com/forgiveness/what-if-the-person-wont-forgive-me-when-i-ask/

Hope that helps. I’ve opened up a forum where we can talk a lot more about this. I’d really like to develop this discussion there.

Blessings,

~Trevor