Here’s another question from one of my readers. I’m always humbled by the trust people have in me.

Question:

How Do You Find Your Soulmate?

Answer:

Pat,

First off I’m not a relationship expert, as my wife of 16 years will likely attest. Still I want to share with you some of what I’ve learned in the area.

My wife’s grandma told her to write down all the things she wanted in a future spouse and put them in her Bible to remember to pray over. When we finally met and got engaged she showed me the list and I was surprised at how I fit the qualities she was looking for.

Here’s some questions to get you started. Think about the qualities of the person who you want to meet.

“How does he make me feel special?”
“What does she do when I’m sick in bed?”
“How does he show affection?”
“How does he treat me in company when we go out?”
“How does she make me laugh?”
“Her most important quality is …”
“The best thing about him is …”

Next write down examples of how they will express those qualities and what actions and behavior will demonstrate those qualities.

Here’s a complete example:

Question: “How does he treat me in company when we go out?”
Qualities: He is respectful, attentive and kind.
Behavior: He is attentive and considerate to me, and kind to the waitress.”

Take the list to God and trust him for the answer. Now you know what to look for in the behavior of the person you’d like to be with.

Now, I need to talk about a few other thoughts I had over your question.

My mom is recently remarried. She’s a widow. She became friends and married a widower. A friend of mine asked me about the wedding and then asked me “Are they happy?” My response surprised both of us I think. “What does “happy” have to with it?  They are committed to each other and love God.”

I have an issue with the 17th century notion of romantic love. When I did pre-martial counseling I’d give the couples homework to read and respond to an article called “What if God Made Marriage to Make Us Holy, Not Happy?” It’s more about deciding you’re committed to the person than it is about romantic love. Because I guarantee any notion that “this person is my soulmate” can fade as fast as trouble comes in.

I had an older couple come to the church once because they wanted to get married. They didn’t attend our church so I asked them, “Why do you want to get married in a church?”

“We want God’s blessing on our union.” It was a good answer so I asked them to tell me their story.

She was in a loveless marriage, lonely and alone a she remembered this boy from school and wondered what he was doing. She managed to track him down and his marriage wasn’t much better than hers so they left their marriages of 36 and 38 years and moved in together. Now they were thinking they should “make it right.”

My “always sensitive” response was to blurt out “You want God to bless the breakup of  your covenants?”  I turned to the guy, “Have you asked her if there is any more old flames you should be worried about?” Let’s just say there weren’t comfortable with my insistence on pre-martial counseling after that.

Now I know that’s not the pastoral thing to do. I refused to marry more people than I ever performed a wedding ceremony for.

Is there only one “soulmate” for each of us? It’s not a Biblical principle. It’s from Greek Platonic philosophy:

Aristophanes presented a story about soulmates in The Symposium by Plato. It states that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate

The Biblical principle is covenant. The two become one. What God has brought together, let no man tear apart.

Now granted it could be that I strongly believe this because I have a daughter and am really warming up to the idea of arranged marriages. But I’m also on a personal mission to root out Greek and foreign philosophy from the knowledge of the Word.

Thanks for asking about how to find your soulmate.

- Trevor

What are the promises when I obey God? I’ve never preached on this portion of Scripture except when I’ve shared this message. It’s a powerful one to consider.

Deuteronomy 28:1-13 (NLT)

“If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully keep all his commands that I am giving you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the world. You will experience all these blessings if you obey the Lord your God:

Your towns and your fields
will be blessed.
Your children and your crops
will be blessed.
The offspring of your herds and flocks
will be blessed.
Your fruit baskets and breadboards
will be blessed.
Wherever you go and whatever you do,
you will be blessed.

“The Lord will conquer your enemies when they attack you. They will attack you from one direction, but they will scatter from you in seven!

“The Lord will guarantee a blessing on everything you do and will fill your storehouses with grain. The Lord your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.

“If you obey the commands of the Lord your God and walk in his ways, the Lord will establish you as his holy people as he swore he would do. Then all the nations of the world will see that you are a people claimed by the Lord, and they will stand in awe of you.

“The Lord will give you prosperity in the land he swore to your ancestors to give you, blessing you with many children, numerous livestock, and abundant crops. The Lord will send rain at the proper time from his rich treasury in the heavens and will bless all the work you do. You will lend to many nations, but you will never need to borrow from them. If you listen to these commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today, and if you carefully obey them, the Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you will always be on top and never at the bottom.

Let’s not forget two things.

1. All God’s promises are “yes” in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 1:20). If it was good in the Old Testament, it’s good for us as well.
2. This is an inferior covenant than the one we’re under with the shed blood of Jesus (Hebrews 12:24), so

2 Corinthians 3:8 (New Living Translation)

Shouldn’t we expect far greater glory [than Moses when His face shone bright], now that the Holy Spirit is giving life?

If under the old covenant wealth and power came from God (1 Chronicles 29:12)…

If confirmation of the old covenant was the sign of wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18)…

If the blessing of the old covenant was to be blessed wherever you go and whatever you do (Deuteronomy 28:6)…

Then you and I better be serious about hearing the voice of the Father and obeying what He says. We’d better get serious about fearing the Lord, Seeking the Lord and Doing What’s right.

That’s the good news. God trusts you with power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise.

But there’s more that some of us may not consider “good”. We’ll discuss that in the next post.

I know this is a controversial subject, I value your feedback and wisdom.

Does God want us to have wealth? We can’t start this discussion without remembering that if we live in Canada or the US, we’re in the top 2% of the world’s wealthiest people.

Don’t think that because you don’t have a million dollars you aren’t wealthy. Not a lot of people in the world have a million dollars. What falls out of your pockets in a month is more than many people earn in a month. If you find a dollar a day,  you’re wealthier than 1.8 billion people in the world.

We have an incredible capacity to make wealth in North America. Money is not the root of all evil – the love of money is. Not having a love of money starts with understanding the source of wealth.

David prays to God and says:

Wealth and honor come from you; 1 Chronicles 29:12 (New International Version)

God is the ultimate source of riches and honor. It’s God who gives us the power to get wealth, and getting wealth is a sign of His covenant with you:

Deuteronomy 8:18 (New International Version)

But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.

I know you’re not all comfortable thinking this way. It makes me uncomfortable as well. I don’t want to make God out as our cosmic piggy bank, but I’m more desperate not to give up on the good He wants for me.

Why don’t we desire power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise?

I see 2 reasons why I have trouble doing so.

1. We let our experience inform our theology instead of letting the Bible interpret our experience.

“I don’t have power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise and I’ve obeyed God…therefore.”

What are you doing? You’re letting your experience inform your theology.

Why don’t we instead decide to accept and expect it?

Never forget your story is not yet done being written.

2. Because power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise can be used for evil. We’ve all seen them used for evil.

And being good Christians, and especially being good Canadians, we don’t want to risk the radical thought that God wants to give us power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise.

But here’s the thing…because you’ve obeyed God, because you fear him, seek him and obey him, your motives become pure.

He’s not going to give you anything He doesn’t trust you with.

He’s big enough to extend grace to you if you mess it up.

Do you not really believe God has the best in store for you when you obey? Check out these promises He gave the children of Israel. We’ll look at them in the next post on this topic.

Love to have your feedback. Leave your comments below.

Truth:

“Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.” Genesis 9:16 (New International Version)

Thought:

In ancient times, a sign of a covenant was the one making the promise would turn the bow around so an arrow would face him, if it was “loaded.” He’d pull the string and declare the oath. This was a way to say, “If I break this covenant, my life is forfeit.”

God did exactly the same thing when He gave Noah and all creation the rainbow in the sky. It’s as if He’s holding the bow against himself every time the rainbow appears.

I love rainbows. They remind me to remember that God is really, really good.

When in this world we have trouble, or even when we choose busy-ness to rule in our lives, remembering to remember is the first thing we forget.

Let’s never forget the power of testimony.

Marketing mavens know the value of a “social proof.” You need to have testimonials of your products or services on your website. But for the follower of Christ, testimony is even more powerful.

Testimony literally means the “story, or report, of one.” Testimony is powerful because it is immediate, direct and personal. It isn’t a story about something or a report about what somebody else said or did. It’s not a theory or hypothesis or hope. It is a personal description of your own direct experience.

So how often do you remember the good things God has done for you?

This is one area I need to improve on. God can bring to my memory incredible things He’s done for me… and He often does when I wait on Him and listen to what He says. But most of the things I journal are in the dark days of my life. I write when I finally realize I can’t do anything but cry out to God. And too often I forget to write down His answer. I know He answers because I know He’s good and I know I’m facing new challenges today than the ones He helped me overcome… as some people say “new level, new devil.”

Testimony is a powerful tool for us to use to remember. So keep a spiritual journal. What is God telling you today? What is He revealing to you? What verses came alive to you? If you keep track of your prayer requests, keep track of their answers as well. If you write out your laments like the Psalms, remember to praise Him for answers that have come. I often put updates in my personal journals but to do so; I need to remember to read the journal regularly. That may help you as well. Take time to remember by reading your journal.

Now testimony is great for us as individuals, but its true power comes in community. If you have an accountability partner, hold each other accountable to talk about the good things God is doing. Be accountable for destiny. When there’s opportunity to share in your church or on the street – make the most of it, remembering to do it with gentleness and respect. That’s why you have a story to remember.

Your story influences others to trust God and praise God and turn to God in their own circumstance. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been a follower of Christ for decades or have just begun the journey today, your story is important.

The most fun I have in life is to talk to new believers who bring newness to truths that I have taken for granted. Visiting with seniors who share their stories of God’s goodness is also great… come to think of it – I like being around people who talk about the good things of God.

I need to be one of those people so people around me will be more like those kinds of people as well.

Will you be one?

Sharing with others your personal interactions with God enables you to strengthen yourself in the Lord.

Prayer:

Lord, help me to remember the good things You’ve done. Spirit, empower me to tell others about how good You are.  I know it helps me to strengthen myself in You and I know it releases something in the heavens, because even angels long to look into the mysteries of God.

Challenge:

Start a journal today, or write in your journal today. Make it a journal to remember the goodness of God. Record what you can remember from your past, or write down what God is revealing to you today. Write in it regularly and read it often… and if you ever imagine publishing for the glory of God, check out askandimagine.com I’d better use full disclosure here Ask and Imagine is is our story-telling company with integrity. I’m called to a unique mixture of ministry and business.

Declaration:

I choose not to be discouraged. I choose to look to God instead of my circumstance. I choose to strengthen myself in the Lord.