The darker the night gets, the brighter the light gets. Learn how to show this natural occurrence in practicality of real life.
The darker the night the brighter my light.
Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.” John 8:12
The darker the night gets, the brighter the light gets. It’s the way of the world.
Can it be true in our lives?
Or is it weak comparison?
I know Jesus calls us the light of the world, but was he just waxing poetic?
I know Isaiah said in 60:1-3
“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn.
But without doubt Isaiah’s prophecy was a poem, was it not?
It’s not always true that light overpowers darkness, just watch the 24-hour news cycle. There’s never any news of good things (light) happening.
Just think of the stories of cancer and sickness and disease. What about the times you’ve done your best to do right and it was unappreciated and even openly mocked.
Good doesn’t always win. Those who do right are hardly ever the most powerful. Our media tells us that. Our experience confirms it.
But God…
You can’t lose with God.
I remember when I was grieving the death of my dad. I was living offended at God. I had questions and doubts and frustration and anger. A friend who knew my dad came up to me and started asking me those same questions and doubts and frustration and anger and my response shocked both me and him.
“With God you can’t lose. Dad’s at home with him and out of this messed up, backwards world. I’m going do what I can to un-mess this messed up world.”
With God you can’t lose no matter how darker the night.
That’s why when a great darkness comes, we’re told to arise and shine.
It’s not the tragedy that should ever be our focus. It’s the ones who run to do what they can to help others in that tragedy that is the story we need to celebrate.
Thanks for being a living light. Will you live LIGHT?
There is a lie that needs to be confronted in love. It’s that I can’t help how I feel. With Holy Spirit’s help, you can change how you feel.
I CAN change how I feel.
Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
The city I lived in banned Conversation Therapy. My country is in the process of making it criminal. The city didn’t define what Conversion Therapy was, but insisted no one be forced to give up how they identify.
I’m in agreement that no one should be forced to change lawful behaviour. We have laws against kidnapping and assault and forceable confinement for good reason.
But that won’t stop me from helping anyone from being released from what the Bible calls sin.
I won’t force anyone, but I’m willing to help everyone.
The response to my comment about the lie
But you should have seen the response to my response to the news story for the city’s move.
I wrote, “Guess I'll be violating a bylaw….hmm… 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 has always been a message of hope.”
I didn’t read the article (mea culpa) and didn’t realize people are still allowed to ask for help.
Do you think that stopped the “discussion” against what I wrote or the Bible verse?
My heart for those believing any lie
I’ve had too many discussions with people who think they “can’t help how they feel”.
I’m not just thinking of those self-identifying in the way the Bible calls sin.
I hear it from husbands who think they’ve fallen out of love with their wife.
I hear it from Christians who think they can’t give up being negative.
I hear it from anyone looking to excuse any behaviour they deep down don’t want to change.
Do you want help to change how you feel? I offer coaching, book a complimentary session – Learn how https://revtrev.com/coaching
Is it right to live unoffendable anymore? Don’t we have to fight for our rights? Learn how you be more unoffendable today.
I live unoffendable.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
How can we live unoffendable?
I saw a sign at the side of the road. It was advertising ads space. It is a sign of a monkey sitting on a tree looking at a sign advertising bananas.
And I got a little offended.
Is the company telling me I’m the monkey and it’s easy to sell to me?
If I decide to buy that advertising space I’m definitely the monkey they sold the banana to.
Have you ever noticed how easy it is for us to take offence?
I’ve come to realize that if I get offended over adverting, or I get offended over a political party calling me an “extremists” they are wanting to fight, or I get offended over my life not lining up with the will of God expressed in Scripture…
…It’s time I examine my heart. I need to make sure that bitterness has not taken root.
Peterson translates the writer of the book of Hebrews this way:
Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.
Hebrews 12:14-15 The Message (MSG)
Look at another version of this:
Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord. Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many.
Hebrews 12:14-15 HCSB
Bitterness causes trouble and defiles many.
We have two problems.
First, we live in a world where offence happens. Jesus said,
Offences will certainly come…
Luke 17:1
Hurt people hurt people. Everyone looks out for their own interests. We can only put up with stupid for so long.
There’s really nothing we can do about it. The second problem we can do something about.
The second problem is, some days – we like to be offended.
Being offended saves us time. It doesn’t put us out of way. We actually get momentary satisfaction from it. Hey, if we’re going to compare ourselves with others anyway, why not compare ourselves with people who don’t have it all together so we can just be a little bit judgemental?
Offence justifies us withholding love.
Danny Silk in his book “Culture of Honor” lays this out.
“We as believers living in this wider culture have to be aware of the schemes of the enemy. We have to be aware of how natural it is to be offended, and what offence does to you. What offence does to you is it justifies you withholding your love. I get to withhold my love from you when you have broken the rules, because people who fail are unworthy of love, and they deserve to be punished. In fact, what punishment looks like most often is withholding love. And when I withhold love, anxiety fills the void, and a spirit of fear directs my behaviour toward the offender.” (Danny Silk, Culture of Honour 93)
Offence will come and we’ll want to cling to it sometimes. But how we deal with it affects the people around us.
Someone offends me
As a child of the King, you don’t have a choice to live unoffendable.
You need to battle bitterness.
The Bible tells us to put off bitterness.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT
I believe we battle bitterness on two fronts. We can be offended at people. We can be offended at God. We need different approaches to battle bitterness with both. These are huge topics so we’re only going to look at being offended at people today.
Paul’s already given us the strategy, but let’s unpack more of the scripture around it.
Offended at People
Jesus taught Luke 17:1-4
“He said to His disciples, “Offences will certainly come, but woe to the one they come through! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea than for him to cause one of these little ones to stumble. Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and comes back to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Luke 17:1-4 HCSB
In order to battle bitterness when we are offended at others, we need to:
Forgive
Let’s pick up on the disciples response to Jesus telling them to forgive others seven times a day. :
“The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.””
Luke 17:5 HCSB
It looks like the disciples did not think they had enough faith to forgive anyone that much. For them it seems that faith = forgiving others. Jesus’ response is something amazing.
“If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,” the Lord said, “you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you. “Which one of you having a slave tending sheep or plowing will say to him when he comes in from the field, ‘Come at once and sit down to eat’? Instead, will he not tell him, ‘Prepare something for me to eat, get ready, and serve me while I eat and drink; later you can eat and drink’? Does he thank that slave because he did what was commanded? In the same way, when you have done all that you were commanded, you should say, ‘We are good-for-nothing slaves; we’ve only done our duty.’ ””
Luke 17:6-10 HCSB
Basically he said to them, “I told you to forgive so forgive. It’s not about how much faith you have.”
The disciples seem to think forgiving someone seven times – which means completely, fully and completely – needs to be done with more faith than they have.
So how are we supposed to we forgive?
Another time Jesus teaches on forgiveness he uses a parable.
“If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won’t listen, take one or two more with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you. I assure you: Whatever you bind on earth is already bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth is already loosed in heaven. Again, I assure you: If two of you on earth agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there among them.” Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how many times could my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times? ” “I tell you, not as many as seven,” Jesus said to him, “but 70 times seven. For this reason, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began to settle accounts, one who owed 10,000 talents was brought before him. Since he had no way to pay it back, his master commanded that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt. “At this, the slave fell facedown before him and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything! ’ Then the master of that slave had compassion, released him, and forgave him the loan. “But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him 100 denarii. He grabbed him, started choking him, and said, ‘Pay what you owe! ’ “At this, his fellow slave fell down and began begging him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ But he wasn’t willing. On the contrary, he went and threw him into prison until he could pay what was owed. When the other slaves saw what had taken place, they were deeply distressed and went and reported to their master everything that had happened. “Then, after he had summoned him, his master said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you? ’ And his master got angry and handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay everything that was owed. So My heavenly Father will also do to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from his heart.””
Matthew 18:15-35 HCSB
What does it mean to forgive from your heart?
It’s a lot like the number 7 – which means completely, fully and completely.
Your heart is the seat of your decision , the seat of your action AND the seat of your emotion.
So forgiveness is a decision, it’s a choice. You decide to forgive.
And sometimes that’s all you need. For start acting and feeling that you’ve forgiven.
Other times you need to do more than just decide to forgive. You need to put an action to it. Forgiveness is an action. Sometimes that’s as simple as blessing the one who did you wrong.
Jesus taught his disciples:
“But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do what is good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If anyone hits you on the cheek, offer the other also. And if anyone takes away your coat, don’t hold back your shirt either. Give to everyone who asks you, and from one who takes your things, don’t ask for them back. Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. If you do what is good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do what is good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is gracious to the ungrateful and evil. Be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.”
Luke 6:27-36 HCSB
Paul teaches us:
“If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone. Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord. But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.”
Romans 12:18-21 HCSB
So blessing is an action that shows forgiveness.
Forgiveness is also an emotion
Sometimes, when you to decide to forgive and then show that you’ve forgiven by blessing the person that did you wrong your feelings fall into line and you begin to feel that you’ve forgiven.
Other times, feeling you’ve forgiven is next to impossible.
But God is God of the impossible and Jesus wouldn’t have told us to forgive from the heart if it wasn’t possible.
You need to follow those feelings of unforgiveness.
What would happen if you chose to forgive? What lie are you believing? Why are you believing that lie. Ask Jesus to show you when that lie became embedded in your understanding. Let him show you the truth of what happened.
This is how you put off bitterness. You learn to forgive others with your whole heart.
Let’s pause now and invite Holy Spirit to do some work. Maybe you see the symptoms but don’t know the cause. You feel bitterness and you know you need to put it off. Ask Jesus if there’s someone you need to forgive.
Did someone come to mind?
Will you make the choice to forgive?
Will you choose to bless them in word and, where possible, in deed?
Will you ask Holy Spirit to speak truth to your pain?
Father, I acknowledge that I’ve held resentment and bitterness against _______________. I confess this as sin and ask you to forgive me. I forgive __________________. Remind me, Lord, to not hold any more resentments, but rather to love this person. Father, I ask you to also forgive ______________________. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT
As you live unoffendable you will battle bitterness so when other people offend you, forgive them from the heart.
Do you need more help to live unoffendable? I can walk you through it with coaching. Get your complimentary coaching call today https://revtrev.com/coaching
Honour helps you to change any situation that is interpersonal. Read why this is the case and why we need to choose to honour everyone.
I honour all people.
Respect everyone, and love the family of believers. Fear God, and respect the king. 1 Peter 2:17
Why should we honour everyone? Why would the Peter tell us to “honour all people”? Didn’t the king he told everyone to honour have Him die by upside down crucifixion?
He told us to honour everyone because. It’s what the Father has done for us.
Honour is when you change the relationship with another. It’s when you raise someone up to your level. You refuse to respond to them the way they respond you.
This is what the Father did for us when we became part of His family and He seated us in heavenly places.
Ephesians 2:4-6 (New Living Translation)
But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.
God has honoured us so we can honour everyone.
Jesus did it when He washed the feet of the one who would in minutes betray Him.
Peter tells us to do it for the King who would one day have him executed.
How will you honour everyone?
Celebrate their success, even if it takes away from your own.
Refuse to throw them under the bus. Don’t cover up incompetence, but don’t point it out publicly either.
Ask God, “What is the gold you see in them?” Compliment them on it.
Do you want to learn how to honour all people? Coaching can help. Start the process to get your free coaching call with me today https://revtrev.com/coaching
Peace is the feeling we can never be without. It comes from trusting God. Do you let peace rule your heart?
Peace rules my heart.
And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:15
Peace needs to rule our heart. Peace comes from trusting God. We need to trust God with our whole heart.
That’s a lot to unpack.
Peace is the person of Jesus
Let’s start with peace. It’s not the absence of war. Peace is the person of Jesus.
I was researching for this blog post and decided to look at the context of the verses I wanted to use to encourage you today. The verse on my heart said, “Seek peace and pursue it”. In the version we’re going to look at it reads “Search for peace and work to maintain it.”
I wanted to know what the Bible said about searching for peace and working to maintain it.
And guess what? It suddenly became very practical for us. Let’s read 1 Peter 3:7-12
1 Peter 3:7-12 New Living Translation (NLT)
In the same way, you husbands must give honour to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. For the Scriptures say,
“If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.
Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.
The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.
Search for peace and work to maintain it. What’s the context?
Context of the verse
Peter is not talking about inner peace here. He’s talking about peace with our closest relationship.
There’s a good chance you’ve been spending a lot of time with someone you love.
Even if you’re living by yourself, we all should have people we care about that we’re spending more time than usual with. It could be on a phone call, it could be on video conference – we should be interacting with people on a whole other level.
And that level can sometimes get iterating.
This week Karen and I celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. We weren’t celebrating it how four months ago we hoped to celebrate it, but we did celebrate it. You might have saw the video I put together. I spent a day going through all the pictures I had.
It was wonderful remembering.
But it occurred to me I was not remembering the times of tension. I wasn’t remembering the things said or left unsaid. I wasn’t remembering the things done or left undone.
And that’s because we’ve learned to keep no record of wrong.
It’s a choice we make to love that way. We don’t use the word “Always” and we don’t use the word “Never”
Because no one always always and no one never nevers.
That’s a choice we’ve had to make.
How are your relationship going?
We need to honour each other; to give room for people to deal with the realities of life the way they need to deal with the realities of life.
We don’t know how long this time of self-imposed exile for the good of the realm is going to be; but we do know how to endure and look at the context around this passage as well.
Colossians 3:14-4:18 New Living Translation (NLT)
And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord. Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ. But if you do what is wrong, you will be paid back for the wrong you have done. For God has no favourites. Masters, be just and fair to your slaves. Remember that you also have a Master—in heaven.
If you need a prescription to help you seek peace during this time of self imposed exile for the good of the realm, we have it here.
How do you treat your spouse? With love and honour How do you treat your parents? You obey them How do you treat your children? Don’t aggravate them How do you work from home? Remember you’re working for God, not your boss. not your paycheque. Work with excellence.
I don’t know if you picked up the tip for endurance.
And always be thankful – With thankful hearts – giving thanks through Him to God.
Gratitude is what makes all of this possible. As long as you have gratitude you can treat each other this way. As long as you choose gratitude you will have resilience to keep on keeping on.
You’ll have resilience to love and honour, you’ll have resilience to obey, you’ll have resilience to work as unto the Lord.
As soon as you stop choosing gratitude, you will grow weary in all the good you’re doing.
Keep a gratitude journal. Tell people you appreciate them. Check your peace. If it’s not there, check your gratitude towards God.
Finding Soul friends is the one thing you need to do to change your life forever. What are they and how do you find them?
Soul friends are life changing friends.
Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Romans 12:10-11
What are soul friends?
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far travel with others. A soul friend is a friend that travels with you a long way.
Soul friends love with genuine affection.
Soul friends take delight in honouring each other.
Soul friends make the decision to love with patience and kindness, without envying or boasting. They aren’t proud or rude or keep records of wrong.
Do you have someone you’d call a soul friend?
What if you don’t in this current time and place you’re in?
How do you find soul friends?
Soul friends require trust.
Trust chiefly gets built over time.
Men build trust by sweating together, but it still takes time to truly trust at the level I’m writing about here.
Trust gets built when people risk truth.
It’s a scary thing to risk truth, but when you do it with someone whose trustworthy, it’s liberating. Those of you who have someone you’d call a soul friend can attest.
I have tools for people to use to develop soul friendship with each other. One tool is for accountability to live right, the other is for accountability to achieve right. If you’d like to learn more, check out my coaching https://revtrev.com/coaching
Little simple gestures change peoples lives daily. Keep up being the amazing you that you are. You’re changing the worlds that you’re probably not aware of.
Little simple gestures change people’s lives.
But this will be your opportunity to tell them about me. So don’t worry in advance about how to answer the charges against you, for I will give you the right words and such wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to reply or refute you! Luke 21:13-15
Oh my goodness, it seems like so long ago I had this thought thinking about how little simple gestures other people had on me completely changed my life.
It came after someone made the effort to seek me out to thank me for something I did – that I completely forgot about doing. It was really not a big deal for me to do. Apparently it changed his life.
Then I started thinking about things others did for me that were probably not a big deal for them, but it made a huge difference for me.
The ones who took our kids so we could have a date night – not knowing what we were going through as a couple.
The ones who insisted on paying for coffee not knowing the stress on our bank account.
The ones who sent a few bucks to say, “thanks” who didn’t know how much I needed the encouragement to keep going.
My gratitude cannot do justice to the impact you had in the moment.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m also grateful for the people who did big huge audacious things out of their love for me and my family. I’m humbled by those times of outrageous generosity.
But I’m convinced it is little simple gestures that change lives daily.
Little simple gestures change lives daily
You and I are called to serve others AND let them serve us. We’re called to be a blessing AND be blessed.
When we let others serve us, we open up the door to tell them about Jesus. Other people get drawn to ask us about Jesus when they see what we to serve others.
All of this is about Jesus. It’s not about us doing what we can to make the world a better place. It’s about telling people about how much Jesus loves them and sometimes we need to be blessed to show others Jesus, and sometimes we need to bless others to get their attention to think about more than what’s in front of them.
A coach can help you determine when it’s time to be blessed and when it’s time to be a blessing. My prayer when I do coaching calls is “Lord make me a blessing and Lord help me to be blessed.” You can book your complimentary coaching call now https://revtrev.com/coaching
There are three powerful keys to Live LIGHT. Each make a huge difference in our life. Gratitude, grace and generosity are game changing decisions to make daily.
Three Power Keys – Gratitude,Grace and Generosityare choices I make today.
Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Colossians 2:7
Rather, you must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All glory to him, both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3:18
Yes, you will be enriched in every way so that you can always be generous. And when we take your gifts to those who need them, they will thank God. 2 Corinthians 9:11
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favouritism and is always sincere. James 3:17
Why three powerful keys?
I can show you all kinds of scientific research around gratitude and generosity. Everyone recognizes the benefit these are to our view of the world and our place in it. But what if we understand the Biblical word “Grace” as empathy? Then we have a slew of scientific research to go along with these three keys to Live LIGHT.
In my coaching, classes and books I spend a lot of time going through what the Bible says about these three and I’ve developed tools to help you work them into the day to day of your everyday. I don’t have time in this blog post to cover all I could tell you. So let’s look at how gratitude helps us overcome complaining.
Gratitude is the first of the the three powerful keys we need
Gratitude – among many other benefits – helps us stop complaining.
Complaining comes naturally for us – the fallen “us” – don’t forget we’re made new in Christ. In Genesis 3:12 our first father had the first complaint, “…the women you put here with me”.
What does complaining do?
When we complain, our brains release stress hormones that harm neural connections in areas used for problem solving and other cognitive functions. This also happens when we listen to someone else moan and groan. It’s as bad as secondhand smoke. It’s secondhand complaining.
Why are we told not to complain in Philippians 2:14 – 18?
v.15 – So we can shine in a dark world.
“How long shall this wicked congregation grumble against me? I have heard the grumblings of the people of Israel, which they grumble against me. Numbers 14:27
v.16 – So we can have an effective testimony
but in your hearts honour Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 1 Peter 3:15
v. 16b – So we honour our leaders
Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you. Hebrews 13:17
v.18 – So we can be joyful in all circumstances.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
6 practical steps have more gratitude and to stop complaining
1. Define what a complaint is. Observations are not complaints. You can tell a complaint by how it makes you feel. Does your energy drop? It’s a complaint.
Psalms 19:12 Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults.
2. Track what you complain about and how often.
Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
3. Separate yourself – as much as possible – from chronic complainers.
1 Peter 3:15 but in your hearts honour Christ the Lord
4. Turn your complaints into solutions.
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
5. Use the “but, I’m thankful for” technique.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
6. Change “I have to” to “I get to”.
Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Change your thinking, rewire your brain if you think you have a right to complain.
You have been redeemed from the curse. Quit toiling like you’re under it.
If you want help with any of the three powerful tools – gratitude, grace or generosity – I do offer coaching to help you work it into the day to day of your everyday https://revtrev.com/coaching
Here’s why loving right matters the most and why we keep in step with the Spirit in the day to day of everyday.
Loving right matters the most. We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. 1 John 3:16
Life is short. Forever is real. Loving right matters the most.
What is loving right?
John tells us what real love is. In 1 John 4:7-19 he writes:
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.
This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us.
Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.
So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.” 1 John 4:7-19 NLT
He goes on to say in 2 John 6 “And this is love-that we walk according to his commands”
Loving right matters the most – so keep in step with the Spirit in the day to day of everyday
Perfect Love
Let me tell you what I mean. John has told us that perfect love is love that comes from God and goes through us to others.
Perfect love is love that is complete. We get it from God and we give it to others. It’s that kind of love that casts out fear.
We need to understand we can’t love others the way God wants us to until we experience His love to us. We’ll grow tired in doing good if we try to do it on our own.
Do you want to see what I mean?
How do we love others?
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
That kind of love is agapeo love. Agapeo love is the decision to love. It means we don’t do it when we feel like it, we do it when we decide to do it. But that’s about all that depends on us.
How do you love everybody always like that?
How can we be patient and kind and not jealous or boastful or proud or rude or demand our own way or not be irritable or keep records of wrong, how to we never give up never lose faith, always be hopeful and endure every circumstance?
We only can with the help of Holy Spirit.
God helps us to love right
By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. 2 Peter 1:3
People ask, Do I need the Holy Spirit to get to heaven? You need Holy Spirit to go to Walmart.
Loving right matters the most – so keep in step with the Spirit in the day to day of everyday
LIFE HACK
Erin Rollenhagen says whenever someone comes to complain about something to you tell yourself they are saying to themselves “I feel insecure over ____________ in my life”
What if you don’t know they blank? Ask Holy Spirit:
1. What are they insecure about?
2. How do I show them your love?
It deactivates confrontation and activates compassion. Love is patient and kind, it doesn’t demand it’s own way. Love is not irritable.
Do not argue with people who are are argumentative.
Loving right matters the most – so keep in step with the Spirit in the day to day of everyday
