How to Ask for Forgiveness

Neil T. Anderson gives the following advice around asking for forgiveness in “The Steps to Freedom in Christ”:

Only the actions, which have hurt another person, need to be confessed to them. If you have had jealous, lustful or angry thoughts toward another, and they don’t know about it, these are to be confessed to God alone. An exception to this principle occurs when restitution needs to be made. If you stole or broke something, damaged someone’s reputation, and so on, you need to go to that person and make it right, even if he or she is unaware of what you did.

The Process of Seeking Forgiveness

1. Write out what you did wrong and why you did it.

2. Make sure you have already forgiven the person for whatever he or she may have done to you.

3. Think through exactly how you will ask him or her to forgive you. Be sure to
a. Label your action as wrong.
b. Be specific and admit what you did.
c. Make no defenses or excuses.
d. Do not blame the other person, and do not expect or demand that he or she ask for your forgiveness.
e. Your confession should lead to the direct question: “Will you forgive me?”

4. Seek the right place and the right time to approach the offended person.

5. Ask for forgiveness in person from anyone with whom you can talk face-to-face with the following exception: Do not go alone when your safety might be in danger.

Except where no other means of communication is possible, do not write a letter because a letter can be very easily misread or misunderstood; a letter can be read by the wrong people (those having nothing to do with the offense or the confession); a letter can be kept when it should have been destroyed.

Do you need to ask someone for forgiveness? Follow these steps, and stop making excuses to be obedient to the Father.